it can never be.

we cant just all going around loving everything.
id love to love everything.
but then, if i loved everything, there would be nothing much to my personality.
what if i like things for all the wrong reasons.
i could potentially like anything. if it catches me in the right moment or mood.
is that a bad thing? why do we really like things?
how do we know if we really do?

but if we liked and loved everything, we wouldnt have a personality. we wouldnt... everything would be neutralised.

and thats why we have to hate some things.
to know who we are.
then, when we realise we were wrong in hating, there will be nothing we can do about it.

nothing is right or wrong.
then what do we do?

Oh Me...

LOLOLOLOLOLOL people!

so. im addicted to facingbooks yah?
and today i was on.
and this one chick i used to go to school with, shes all like madddd emo and stuff.
and she has posted like 6 different nirvana statuses.
and i lol, because i put up lyrics on facebook too, but she is just sooo funny.
shes all finding "discreet" smells like teen spirit lyrics up, and it is just soo funny, i bet she recently bought kurt's journals from general pants.
see and that is just despicable.
its like they are cheaply pedalling his soul.

"BUY THE THOUGHTS OF A TORMENTED SUICIDAL MUSICAL GENIUS! WE STOLE THEM FROM HIS HOUSE, ONCE WE HEARD HE WAS DEAD, FOR YOU TO ACCESS AT THE CHEAP PRICE OF $39.99. ALL PROCEEDS GO TO THE COURTNEY LOVE IS A WIDOW FOUNDATION."

but anyways, this chick is so attention seeking, shes actually posted "i wish i had a friend that loves nirvana as much as me... not just smells like teen spirit"

and that shits me. coz everyone wants to say it. but you dont, because you dont want to look like an obvious douchebag.

see thats the worst thing about everything in this post.
its hypocritcal.
fuck i hate being a hypocrite.
i guess im just hating on everything. despairing at the fact that people i am supposed to not like might actually be alright.

fuck. i hate being a judgemental hypocrite.
fuck fuck fuck fuck. and i try, i really do, to be open minded. but its hard with the people that surround me.

our generation is fucked.
we are so judgemental and jaded. just handed everything.
what we need is a war. SOMETHING! to hit us hard. make us get the fuck over ourselves.
we are SOOOO self obsessed...
look at us, with our blogs, our twitter, our facebook.
what makes us think people want to know about us every five seconds.
we are given opportunuties to whore ourselves on the internet.

and its terrible. and we are all sucked into it.

this is such a retarded rant. i dont even know what i am talking about anymore.
i was going to put up some nirvana photos, videos.
but now, im just not in the mood.

ah man this is so depressing.

AKAKAAKAKAKAKKAKAKAAIIIIIII

FUCK YEAH NEON WARPAINT!

THE KINGS ARE BACKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YEAH PEOPLE KINGS OF LEON ARE BACK!

Album "Come Around Sundown" better not be like "Only By The Night", in that Only By The Night had a whole lot of teenybopper-hangers-on clambering all over it, like rotting oysters. Stinky.
Since the Sex On Fire disaster, the boys have learnt a lesson, and pretty sure, they are trying not to sell out, (for example, not letting Sex On Fire end up on GLEE!! ffs)
Even if they did sell out, they are trying to pretend they didnt, by going back to more "spiritual" songs, like the newly released "RADIOACTIVE"
Having heard a few of the new songs before, live, i quite like where this is going.
The Kings, in their true spirit, seem to be making a happier, more summery album :)
FUCK YEAH!
We need more stuff like, California Waiting, Fans, Knocked Up, Genius, Pistol Of Fire, Wasted Time, Razz, Ragoo, Head to Toe... Happy songs, good songs for good times :D
Fuck, i love them
Baby's gonna give it like it used to be...







My Favourite Albums (... in order of preference :) )

1) BECAUSE OF THE TIMES
2) YOUTH AND YOUNG MANHOOD
3) AHA SHAKE HEARTBREAK
4) ONLY BY THE NIGHT

Admittedly, i did only get into Kings of Leon when they brought out BOTT, and once i got my hands on it, i listened to it all summer.
I was in love, Kings lyrics revolved round my head, into stupid little artworks i made for my friends instead of doing maths...
I needed more!
Once i got the entire back catalogue ( i even scraped up Bsides) i was obsessed.
I found freaky forums where everyone had Kings of Leon syndrome like me, or worse :P
I killed my internet by downloading every interview and live performance off youtube, and overloaded my computer memory by saving the footage so i could have it on hand, stored in my ever filling ipod.
Man, it was unhealthy!
But the best thing ever was when the Kings released their home videos, which they made while recording Only By The Night. THE Kings of Leon, in their home enviroment, being stupid, sexy, funny, and at times serious and down? YES PLEASE!
For a while, Kings of Leon was all i watched, Kings of Leon was all i listened to.
But this terrible obsession did have some benefits!
I bought my first ever Rolling Stone magazine because they were on the cover.
I explored all sorts of old, awesomely talented musicians, because they recommended it.
Caleb's lyrics were the first real lyrics i ever listened, or paid attention to,(which is ironic, because in the early days, through that accent and moustache, you can hardly decipher much...) and the first to ever mean something, and impact the way i live now...

When Kings Of Leon came to Australia promoting Only By The Night, as you can only imagine, i was ecstatic!
I hyperventilated while i bought the tickets online, for my best friend and me. the website was flooded with fans, of the sex on fire sort, and i almost cried when i didnt get standing up tickets! YOU CANT SIT DOWN TO YOUR FAVOURITE BANDD!!!!!!! GAH!
But i was determined to have it my way.

So on the 18th March 2009, a Wednesday night, we went to Kings of Leon.
I was so fucking nervous. SO nervous. not sure why, really, i just was. i had drank my can of mother within 2 mins of getting on the train there, and spent the rest of the trip making my friend, who at that time, HATED energy drinks (while i was an addict lol), scull hers. I wanted to get there uber early to scope the area and find out how we would get on the floor.
The one and only time i have not finished my Maccas was just before the gig. Standing outside Sydney Entertainment Centre, i could barely nibble my McChicken burger.
Once we got in, we sat high up in our seats. In my Kings of Leon attire ("cowboy boots", skinny jeans, and native-american-bull-skull singlet), i sussed out how far it was to jump, past security guards, off the seated area. Pretty far. But i would do it.
My friend mademe suss out other options. We pretended we lost our tickets and attempted getting standing wristbands. We attempted walking right in, past security guards.
After like an hour of looking so suss, stalking out all entrances, i ran in after a group of girls, waving an armful of bracelets at the security guard. My friend, however was not so successful, and she sheepishly waved a naked wrist at the guard, who called her back! she stood there mumbling about "oh, i have to stay with my friend" when i yelled "DOUCHEBAG! RUN!!!!", at which point she came to her senses and ran in after me. Stupid fucking security guard! what is his problem? what kind of trouble will two 16yrold girls cause in a moshpit? fuckers.
The crowd was fucking stupid, they had stood still for the entire Stills (pre set band) performance, and now, in the gap between The Stills and The Kings, they were just as motionless. Trying to bury ourselves in the crowd, Liv and I pushed over a few lame 29yrolds "settle down, alright?" fuck off. we are here to have a fucking great time!
there were some nice people though, like Jean Baptiste, who flew from France to see them or something... to our delight, he told us "eet eez ze singer who really makes it great stuff. without him, eet eez just rock and roll." We took that as a good thing...
My friend was having a bit of a hard time in the mosh, between heaps of guys and, well, me, in my boots :/ At one point, some chicks saved her, and made her stand with them, rather then me. My poor friend then had to explain i was her friend HAHA!
In songs like "Four Kicks" and "Sex On Fire" the crowd really got fucking excited, and it was great. I love moshpits haha. But at one point Caleb adressed the crowd, " I see people getting told to sit down, when the get up and dance. I really hate shows like that. EVERYBODY GET UP AND DANCE!!!" DAMN STRAIGHT! see, this is why we had to get into that fabulous mosh, where some fat chick punched me, ITS A ROCK SHOW! GET UP AND DANCE!!!!!
It must have been a terrible show for the Kings, i mean, first show in Sydney, and people were literally leaving after Sex On Fire. FUCKWITS! Jared supposedly flipped off the crowd haha. i mean, it wasnt the best live performance i've seen, but the kings are a no frills band, theyre not about to get up on the stage with props and dancers. They are perfectionists, however, so the music, which is what its about really, is amazingly good :) they are one of the best live bands out there. theyre not untalented, thats for sure.
For example, they played this awesome awesome song, for the first time, later dubbed by fans "the Devil Song" or "Lucifer". They played it, and it is this amazing bluesy thing, which still gives me chillbumps haha. Unfortunately its not on the new record, which is upsetting, but its the kind of thing thats way better live... it was so differnet everytime (according youtube)
heres a vid of them ending the night with Black Thumbnail, which is WAY better live too, haha, and at the start theyre just finishing The Devil Song.


and this is the best version i have heard of it, which was a few nights after our gig, in Newcastle.


chillbumps, yeah? fuck....

After the gig, i bought a legit red Kings Of Leon tshirt, and we ran round the back of Sydney Entertainment Centre to see if we could spot the Kings, despite my father ringing us to pick up our 16yrold asses (ooh, rebel rebel LOL)
Stood along the fence with some fucking teenyboppers who didnt even know their names, or who played what. FUCKERS! Me and liv were so tempted to scratch their eyeballs out, seriously, biggest fake fuckwits OUT!
After hours of waiting, we spotted Nacho, Followill cousin and roadie for the Kings. We knew him from the home videos and all. we screamed his name ahah, and so he came over. we shook his hand, complemented his hair, and he told us Kings were still playing ping pong backstage... we lacked a pen or anything, so we didnt get nacho to sign anything, haha, roadie, but some other roadie took a picture, and then took a picture of nacho with all the other fans standing along the fence. fuck off, they didnt even know the lead singers name, let alone who the fuck Nacho was! FUUUUUCCCCKKK!!!
Havent seen those photos anywhere since... oh well.
The Kings finally came out, and we screamed and screamed, but they didnt come to the fence, (they looked quite pissed actually, i mean, it was a shit sex on fire gig, i would be...) they just got in their cars, with their girlfriends, and drove away :'( lol

Nevertheless, we got dragged home by my very angry father, and i slept in my KOL shirt, not washing my Nacho hand, and later writing in my diary "Best Night Of My Life To Date" HAHA, ah obsessions.
was pretty devo but, when the next day, while we were boasting at school, Kings Of Leon were snapped just walking around Darling Harbour. :(


Caleb Followill and girlfriend Lily Aldridge.

I have some fabulous dents in those boots, and my friend has some fabulous dents and marks on her rabens, (mostly from me, tehehe) to this day haha. Whatever, we both had a great time.

God, i love them.
No matter what they are these days, they are the reason i have explored music, rummaging through the ages, and found so many other good things to love, in the short history of rock n roll :)

A M

watched Whip It the other night, and apart from corny-ass lines and waaayyyy too realistic portrayals of teenage/parent clashes, its actually a pretty good movie :)

Upon realising Ellen Page's roller derby character was called "Babe Ruthless" i thought of how Jack White calls Alison Mosshart "Baby Ruthless"
Which came first, i wonder....?
hm.

This then reminded me that i am yet to post a blog shrine to Alison Mosshart, VV, Baby Ruthless.... Whatever you want to call her, she is the single most awesome woman of this century. without question.

so, here we go :)

INHERITANCE

My family's from crazy all over the place, and so there's lots of stories of experiences from all walks of life.
On my mothers side, we are Sri Lankan, but if you go even further back from there, there's Portuguese and Dutch too.
Then on my fathers side, my grandmother is British, and my grandfather is Dutch-Indonesian.

So me and my siblings are like those crazy mutts with patchy speckled fur :)
It trips people out, because some people in society are just so focused on nationality and race, even though most of us were born here in Australia anyway, so what does it matter? I love to trick people, or play a guessing game, when they ask me "Oh what's your nash?". Its hilarious, because then they dont know how to judge me, in my caramel-y coating haha
My sister and I often tell people we're Native American or Jamaican haha :)

Anyways, so on my dad's side we got all this jewelry from relatives in Holland, from their shop, and some from my Oma, or great grandmother too :)
Unfortunately, jewelry from the shop in Holland was mixed in with Oma's precious stuff, which she probably carried through the war!

i have rediscovered how awesome some of the pieces are, and took a photo of some jewelry i am loving right now :)
sorry, they're not the best, but im bored, so im doing it :)
i also look like crap today, ive been sick -_- so i put my deformed baby hands over my face.... not sure which was better...





The pink necklace, my mother and i are fighting over who gets to wear it haha, i snag it most of the time :) its Peruvian sliver with rose quartz.
The necktie, is like old western haha, quite funny, my mum was horrified when i said i was going to find a way to wear it! she tried to tell me people wore neckties in the 80s? cant imagine it... This ones got a rhinestone in it...
The gold ring has, garnet, i think in it, and must have been my Oma's. its rare to find rings that fit me, so imma wear it, incorporate it with stuff. it is very special after all :)
The purpley ring is pink turquoise in silver, and its from some Californian desert, i forget which... I actually got this in Byron Bay, but i love it so much, i had to show you :)
Oh yeah and the silver cuff is my aunty's. totally not inherited. she probs wants it back. but she left it here, so ill just hang on to it till i next see her? :P